There are four principles underpinning the Early Years Foundation Stage framework for the work we do caring for and educating our youngest children in England. Two of these principles and arguably the most important are – The Unique Child and Positive Relationships. Those of us engaged in supporting children’s development as a vocation, understand how these two principles apply to our pedagogy and our ethos and attitudes towards children. We value all children for who they are, recognising and responding to their intrinsic worth as human beings and to their unique, individual life journey – their prior and present experiences and their potential to become the best version of themselves, whatever that might be.

We find a pride in the privilege of building warm, positive relationships with them that contributes to their wellbeing and personal growth. We find fulfilment in doing so. We advocate for all children because we want to see a world where everyone is treated equally, has equal opportunity, respect, and dignity.

We do not argue with children over points of principle. We do not talk about them behind their backs. We do not form cliques against one or more of them. We just love them unconditionally, accepting that they sometimes need our reassurance and support to regulate their behaviour. Even when they express opinions that differ from our own, we would never dream of criticising them, running them down on social media or publicly shaming them.

I wonder at what stage in a person’s life this changes and they become a legitimate target? Why and at what age does respect for and tolerance of individual difference become conditional? We loved you for who you were when you were two, twenty or thirty years later we find your beliefs and opinions annoying, and we feel fully justified in saying so. Our principles will no longer allow us to maintain a positive relationship with unique individuals. Get with the message of our tribe or find yourself ostracised.

At a time when the early years sector is under intense pressure from all sides, surely what we could do with more than anything is love, acceptance of and respect and support for one another? Are we able to consider that everyone connected with the early years sector has the best interests of children at heart?

Can we support the notion that relationship always trumps a point of principle? If not, why? Why should our acceptance of another be contingent on what they say or do – over the age of five years? Can we accept that others are doing their best given their life experience, knowledge and capabilities?

Can we respect someone sufficiently to disagree with them without expressing our contra-opinion in personal terms or indeed at all?    

Can we love one another?